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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24301912">When I Should Just Walk Away, It Grips Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterByDayWhovianByNight/pseuds/HunterByDayWhovianByNight'>HunterByDayWhovianByNight</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Space Between Us [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Advice, Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Ahsoka Tano-centric, Angst and Feels, Clone Wars, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Goodbyes, Master &amp; Padawan Relationship(s), Obi-Wan Gives Good Advice, Reunions, Separation Anxiety</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:28:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,860</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24301912</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterByDayWhovianByNight/pseuds/HunterByDayWhovianByNight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow<br/>Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead<br/>Walk beside me… just be my friend.”<br/>―Albert Camus</p><p>The war was important, yes, but Ahsoka still felt lonely when she and Anakin were apart.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anakin Skywalker &amp; Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Ahsoka Tano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Space Between Us [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1756915</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>133</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello all! After 12 years of absolutely loving Clone Wars, especially the dynamic between Ahsoka and Anakin, I have broken down and written a fic about them. This whole fic has been (lovingly) beta'd by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatmanWhoLaughss/pseuds/BatmanWhoLaughss">BatmanWhoLaughss.</a> Title is from "Grip" by Bastille and Seeb; I suggest listening to the alternative version of the song!</p><p>~Hunter</p><p>P.S.: There is listening material to accompany the reading material! My Anakin + Ahsoka playlist can be found <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6QSSjUjbqRHqDkGQgkhUTA?si=x98YXdYfTkm7O8uhYWtlnw">here!</a></p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ahsoka asks for Obi-Wan's advice on how to navigate being a Padawan in spite of the war.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ahsoka leaned against a pillar inside the Temple creche, arms crossed, and eyes alert. She was waiting for Master Kenobi to come out of a meeting with the Jedi Council so that she could ask for some advice about navigating her relationship with Anakin, which she felt was becoming strained (at least in her eyes) by the war. In the last three standard months, she and Anakin had only spent about two weeks together. Their reunions, which happened when their assignments managed not to overlap each other, were brief and scattered. This particular assignment Anakin was on had lasted nearly three weeks already and Ahsoka hadn’t yet heard anything about him being due back.</p><p>As she settled into the wall, kicking her foot up against it to steady herself, Ahsoka ruminated on the feelings of isolation she’d been experiencing as a result of being away from Anakin. She meditated on her feelings last night in an effort to try and channel her emotions into something more productive, but turned up rather hopeless. It was a lonely life at the Temple away from her Master, especially in the midst of a war that upended her path to becoming a Jedi Knight. She and Anakin were usually separated and on different sides of the galaxy at any given time; the last few months had proven that. Running her katas alone and meditating without Anakin there made a pang of sadness go through her chest because he was away somewhere. <span>Where she stood, it didn’t feel like they were Master and Padawan.</span></p><p>In short, she missed him. Missed his guidance, his presence in the Force, his mentorship. She knew the Jedi Code forbade attachments, but Anakin was like the best friend Ahsoka always wanted, the older brother she never had. When they were separated, she wanted to reach out across their bond and ask for strength or some brief words of wisdom, but didn’t want him to think she was too emotional to be out in the field on important missions. Being away from him stung and she wasn’t sure how to overcome her loneliness, which was how she found herself coming to Obi-Wan for advice.</p><p>The doors to the meeting room opened and Ahsoka sprung off the wall, uncrossing her arms and folding them behind her back expectantly. She peered into the room and looked for Obi-Wan over the heads of the other Jedi, spotting him on the far side. She waited for everyone to filter out, nodding hellos and smiling at the familiar Masters until Obi-Wan came out. He waved at her and was about to pass by before she called out at him.</p><p>“Master Kenobi! I have to talk with you,” Ahsoka called after him. Obi-Wan turned round and regarded Ahsoka with a questioning look.</p><p>“Hello, Ahsoka, what seems to be the matter?” Obi-Wan asked, waiting for her to catch up to him.</p><p>“I… I’m concerned about my training, Master Kenobi,” Ahsoka said, running her thumb over the seam of her glove and pondering what to say next. “Being away from Anakin has been difficult these last few months.”</p><p>“Yes, he’s been in and out of Coruscant rather frequently, hasn’t he?” Obi-Wan replied, stroking his beard thoughtfully and considering Ahsoka’s words. “And you’ve been put on quite a few missions without him as well.”</p><p>“That's what I’m getting at. It feels as if we aren’t Master and Padawan anymore. I don’t know why the Council has been separating us on missions.”</p><p>“I take it you’ve been feeling lonely?” Obi-Wan questioned as he gestured for the pair to keep walking down the hallway. “Have you spoken to Anakin about this?”</p><p>Ahsoka bit her lip and huffed. </p><p>“No, I haven’t yet. Like I said, Anakin and I haven’t been in the same place at the same time long enough for us to talk about it,” Ahsoka confessed. She frowned; why was it so easy to talk to Master Kenobi like this and not Anakin?</p><p>“Have you been meditating on the matter? I’m sure Master Yoda would suggest the same remedy to your troubles. Meditation is a productive outlet for the troubled mind, and you could find why you feel so isolated when you’re apart.”</p><p>“I’ve been meditating, but… it hasn’t felt right to be doing it without him. It feels lonely to be without him, even though I know we’re both doing good for the war. It doesn’t feel right for me to be learning how to navigate the Force on my own. I’m getting stuck.”</p><p>“What I’m sensing, Ahsoka, is that you miss him,” Obi-Wan said, stopping in the middle of the hall. Ahsoka dug her nails into her palm, not wanting to admit it aloud. She furrowed her brow, wanting to be stubborn and deny it, but she knew Master Kenobi would see right through her lies. They’d known each other long and well enough for him to know when she was lying.</p><p>“Yes, Master Kenobi,” Ahsoka said with a sigh, “I miss him. And it’s not the Jedi way, I already know that, but I don’t want to lose my bond with him. There has to be some kind of healthy attachment, especially since I <em> am </em>his Padawan.”</p><p>Obi-Wan offered Ahsoka a conciliatory hand on her shoulder and gave her a thoughtful, concerned look. She searched his eyes for an indication to what he was going to say next, but came up with nothing. She straightened her back a little more, trying to appear strong.</p><p>“You need to meditate more, get to the bottom of why it’s so hard for you to let go of Anakin when you’re put on separate missions back-to-back. And talk with him. Figure out some sort of communication between the two of you where you can keep in contact even when you’re on opposite sides of the galaxy,” Obi-Wan suggested. Ahsoka nodded in agreement at his words, her mind already concocting what she wanted to say to Anakin when they saw each other next. “It’s more important for you to know how to let go of your relationships in a healthy and productive way when the time calls for it. It will get easier with time.”</p><p>“Thank you, Master Kenobi,” Ahsoka said with a small smile. “Really, thank you. I feel a lot better about all this now that I’ve talked to you.”</p><p>“Of course, Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan replied. He returned the smile, his warm blue eyes twinkling. He gave her an approving pat on the shoulder before withdrawing his hand. Ahsoka took it as the end of the conversation and they parted ways. She headed in the opposite direction before she heard Obi-Wan call after her. “Oh, and Ahsoka?”</p><p>“Yes, Master Kenobi?” Ahsoka said as she turned around to face him again.</p><p>“Anakin should be returning tomorrow, in the afternoon. Don’t forget to talk with him,” Obi-Wan said with a grin before turning and walking away. Ahsoka beamed and took a deep breath to calm herself.</p><p><em> Maybe today wasn’t so bad after all, </em>Ahsoka thought to herself as she headed towards her and Anakin’s rooms, her step a little lighter and her mood much improved.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ahsoka and Anakin are reunited, but Ahsoka (as charged by Obi-Wan) still needs to discuss attachments, missing him, and the war with Anakin.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wrote half of this chapter on 7mg of Melatonin so apologies for any incoherent writing. Thank you SO much to BatmanWhoLaughss for helping reimagine this chapter. Please enjoy!</p><p>~Hunter</p><p>P.S.: There is listening material to accompany the reading material! My Anakin + Ahsoka playlist can be found <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6QSSjUjbqRHqDkGQgkhUTA?si=x98YXdYfTkm7O8uhYWtlnw">here!</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Anakin!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka itched to run towards the ship as she saw Anakin, Master Windu, and Senator Amidala disembark. She opted for a frantic wave and a smile, staying put beside Master Kenobi. Anakin caught her eye and waved back, a smile spreading on his face when he saw her. She spied him saying a few words to the other Jedi and Senator before picking up his pace and walking in her direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Snips, it’s good to see you again,” Anakin said when he got closer to Ahsoka. “Did you miss me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anakin said it playfully, clearly trying to joke around with Ahsoka, but if only he knew just how much that question meant to her. She didn’t know how to respond; with a full-bodied </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes, of course I did, I’m so glad you’re back</span>
  </em>
  <span> or a playful </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course not, stars know I’ve slept better without you snoring </span>
  </em>
  <span>to get back at him. She was frozen in place, unsure of what to do or say. She opted for an awkward, forced chuckle and a dismissive wave of her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been keeping busy, I didn’t have the time to miss you,” Ahsoka said. Internally, she rolled her eyes at herself for such a terribly-delivered lie. Master Kenobi was probably doing the same thing for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if that’s the case, then I guess you won’t miss me when I’m back on the Jedi Cruiser at the end of the week,” Anakin said with a smirk, putting his hand on Ahsoka’s shoulder and leading her inside the Temple.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Again? So soon? That’s only three days, and I’ll probably be stuck here at the Temple again while he’s off fighting, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ahsoka thought to herself as she distantly heard Anakin rattle off about the most recent battle he was a part of. She kept her Force shields up and bolted tight; she didn’t want Master Kenobi or Anakin (especially Anakin) to hear her anxieties and worries. Master Kenobi’s insistence that she talk with Anakin about her bouts of loneliness when they were separated rang through her mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka went back to their quarters while Anakin went to deliver his routine briefing to the Jedi Council. She sat cross-legged on his work table, turning over the doodad Anakin had been tinkering with the last time he was here in her hands. Anakin promised before they parted ways that as soon as he was done with the Council that he’d come back and they would train or meditate together. She looked forward to it, but she couldn’t help her growing sadness that he was going to be leaving at the week’s end on another mission. She hoped that she would be able to go with him since being stuck on Coruscant meant being cooped up in the library or their quarters, alone in her thoughts. The thought alone made her heart sore and heavy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though the war was beginning to lose its shine and its end seemed to be far beyond her vision, she longed to be with her Master, fighting on the front lines with him, their sabers brandished, or on the bridge of a Jedi Cruiser drawing up battle plans late at night. This war was important. She already knew that. Anakin was needed elsewhere in the galaxy, and the nature of the war made it so that it was either too dangerous for her to be on an assignment with him or so dire that she was split up from him to lead a different set of troops. She just wanted to feel like his Padawan again, like their earlier days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Though she was not in the traditional meditative pose, Ahsoka shut her eyes and began to meditate like Master Kenobi suggested the day before. She connected herself with the Force and let it flow through her, calming herself and trying to ease the soreness in her chest. She breathed, slowly and thoughtfully, as she focused on what being a Padawan meant to her, how this war was changing what normal meant, why she was missing her Master so much She felt her nose and eyes sting as the thought that Anakin could die and she wouldn’t be there to protect him or honor her Master’s death properly arose in her mind. She wanted to shut that thought away and bury it. Ahsoka was so lost in her thoughts and emotions that she did not hear Anakin enter the room until he called her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahsoka? Ahsoka, are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka’s former state of concentration broke when she heard Anakin’s voice and felt his hand on top of hers. She opened her eyes and looked up so that she and Anakin were making eye contact, although it was hard to make eye contact when her eyes were full of tears. Anakin looked worried, concerned; it was a common look on him when they were out on the field. Embarrassed, Ahsoka pulled her hand out from beneath his and wiped away her tears with a sniffle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing. I’m just… a little overwhelmed, Master,” Ahsoka said as she climbed down from the work table. She walked past him to her mat, trying not to make eye contact with him. She put her shields up too for good measure so that he wouldn’t see or feel the worry she was experiencing. Still, though, she felt Anakin’s presence in the Force prod against her shields to ask what was troubling her, but still she kept her shields up. She leaned against the wall and glumly slid down it so that she was sitting on her mat against it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what’s going on, Ahsoka,” Anakin said as he crouched down next to her. “You can be honest with me. Tell me what’s going on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka let out a long, steady breath and wiped away the remaining tears from her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t feel like your Padawan anymore. I haven’t been going on assignments or missions with you as often anymore. I miss the old days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Ahsoka,” Anakin said with a melancholic tone. “Is that why you were acting strange when I arrived earlier today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no point in lying; Anakin had figured her out. Like Master Kenobi, Anakin knew her better than that and </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>knew when she was lying. She was surprised he didn’t tease her about it, what with the way she responded so awkwardly earlier when he asked if she missed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” was all Ahsoka could supply. She leaned her head away from the wall and onto Anakin’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I see? What you were meditating about before I came in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if you want to see, Master.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trust me, Ahsoka, I can handle it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A heavy pause hung in the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka let down her shields and allowed Anakin to see inside her mind. His Force signature was familiar, comforting, as he entered her mind. She showed him the many sights of her alone: at the Temple library, in the training rooms while other Padawans were with their masters, in her quarters on a Jedi Cruiser. She gave him all her anxieties, all her worries, all her reservations. Finally, she showed Anakin the thought that made her cry earlier, and felt his shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this why Obi-Wan told me that you needed to talk with me, Ahsoka?” Anakin asked with concern. Ahsoka groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Master Kenobi told you about our conversation?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, only that you needed to talk with me,” Anakin explained. “But Ahsoka, while your concerns are valid, we’re in a war. These things happen and that means we have to be separated sometimes. I know that you’re more than capable on your own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t mean that I don’t miss you, sometimes. You’re still my Master.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka murmured the words just loud enough for Anakin to hear. And it was true— before the war, a Padawan would have gone everywhere with their Master until they became a Knight. She longed for that attachment with her own Master, forging their bond more deeply and going on adventures together. She was lucky if she got a hologram from him or a message across their bond most nights when they were separated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> miss me?” Anakin asked her. It was not malicious or teasing, just inquisitive. Now there </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>was no way for her to lie. She nodded, a frown on her face. Anakin pressed further. “Ahsoka, why didn’t you just tell me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want you to think I was being foolish or that I was too weak to go on assignments at all,” Ahsoka confessed. “I didn’t want you to think I was getting too attached.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, what did Obi-Wan say about all of this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He told me that it’s more important to know how to let go of my attachments when the time calls for it.” Ahsoka took a deep breath and closed her eyes again. “I feel so guilty for missing you, though, and I can’t help but feel that this war is hurting our connection as Master and Padawan… I wish things could be normal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another pause filled the room with a deafening silence as Ahsoka waited for Anakin to respond. What she said was loaded and she was unsure of how he would react. If he vehemently disagreed with her, he would have said something already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that this war is making our lives difficult. Find some peace in the fact that even though this time isn’t normal, it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>our </span>
  </em>
  <span>normal. And all that means is that we have to embrace it and adapt to it,” Anakin said. “More importantly, that means our time together here at the Temple or on a mission is all the more valuable. You should treasure the time we’re—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Master! All I wish is that we had more of it,” Ahsoka insisted. She felt her lekku flush red with impatience. She moved her head off Anakin’s shoulder and made eye contact with him. Ahsoka could see, clear as day, that Anakin was deeply affected by her. He didn’t have to say it but she sensed that he felt the same way. Ahsoka felt reassured by his similar feelings about the war and lost time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling this way, Ahsoka,” Anakin said solemnly. “Don’t ever feel afraid to tell me about things like this. It’s why I’m here as your Master.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wish we were together so I could tell you in person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We always have our bond. Don’t feel discouraged from reaching out. I will always,” Anakin grabbed hold of Ahsoka’s left hand with his right one, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Always </span>
  </em>
  <span>be there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Ahsoka replied. She squeezed their fingers together, feeling a wave of relief come over her now that she and Anakin had discussed this. It was their first real conversation in nearly five weeks. She felt tears welling up in her eyes again, but this time they were happy tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me sit in front of you,” Anakin said, scooting over so that they were face-to-face. Ahsoka wiped away her tears and smiled at Anakin, feeling so happy that they were finally reunited in the way they were supposed to be as Master and Padawan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka bowed her head reverently and closed her eyes, preparing herself for the wave of reassuring, calming Force energy Anakin would give her. She felt him place a comforting hand on her head, between her montrals, and welcomed the soothing presence of Anakin’s Force signature. They meditated together, strengthening their bond and reigniting it after being apart for so long. Anakin gave her support, strength, admiration; Ahsoka gave back appreciation, eagerness, respect. She felt full to bursting. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>missed </span>
  </em>
  <span>this. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed </span>
  </em>
  <span>this. When Anakin withdrew his hand, ending their shared meditation, Ahsoka did not mourn the loss. She felt more full and content than she had before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Master.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, Snips,” Anakin said teasingly, playfully pushing her knee. “We should sleep. It’s been a long day and we have a long day tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka nodded in agreement and the pair began to fall into their nightly routine. They developed it in their early days as Master and Padawan, a strange dance between rolling out blankets, using the ‘fresher, and tidying up the room. They didn’t need to talk as they readied for bed anymore; they just knew the order of things. It made Ahsoka feel more than a little nostalgic. As she settled under her blankets, Anakin turned off the lights. She stared up at the ceiling and breathed slowly, as if she was doing her meditations. She wasn’t expecting to get so emotionally overwhelmed tonight. She fingered a loose thread in her blanket, wrapping it slowly around her pointer finger as she thought about how Anakin was leaving again in a few days. Tonight had proven that he meant a lot to her; she was going to miss him deeply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope we’re put on assignment together again,” Ahsoka said into the darkness, hoping Anakin was still up for talking. She turned so that she’d be facing him, if he was still up. “It’s been so long since we’ve been on the run together, doing what we do best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anakin shifted under his blanket, the rustling letting Ahsoka know that he was, in fact, still awake and willing to talk. She heard him exhale sorrowfully; she could practically see the frown on his face in the dark room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will ask if you can come with me,” Anakin replied. Ahsoka felt her heart skip in expectation, knowing that Anakin would vouch for her. But she knew there was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>but </span>
  </em>
  <span>lingering at the end of his sentence. “But you can’t get your hopes up, Ahsoka. You won’t be my Padawan forever. You have to get used to being without me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I’m your Padawan </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Ahsoka said with a sigh. “It’s just not fair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Treat this as a lesson in not becoming attached, Ahsoka,” Anakin suggested. “Only when we’re apart can you use all of the lessons I’ve taught you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” Ahsoka said. She broke the thread twined round her fingertip and let it unspool off her finger. Something in the Force told her that come the end of the week, she and Anakin would be on separate missions. The thought made her heart beat heavily in her chest and her chest feel hollow. Still, though, she hoped that the Jedi Council would understand and allow her to accompany Anakin on his next assignment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Master.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Snips.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka smiled at the nickname. She’d never admit it out loud, but she loved it. It made her feel cared about, loved. She got the same little rush of glee when Master Plo called her Little ‘Soka. Even if they were forbidden from having any kind of attachments, Ahsoka relished in those little moments of familiarity. Before, when he first assigned her the nickname, she thought it was annoying, childish. But the longer they spent apart, the more the nickname became comforting. It reminded her that she was with Anakin, that she had a friend, a brother, who understood her and looked out for her. Ahsoka turned over her shoulder to ask Anakin one last question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anakin, did you—” Ahsoka started, but heard him snore, indicating that he was already asleep. She settled back into the mat. She’d ask him tomorrow. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Part Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ahsoka asks Anakin that question that's been on her mind.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you everyone for reading! I really hope you enjoyed this story :)</p><p>~Hunter</p><p>P.S.: There is listening material to accompany the reading material! My Anakin + Ahsoka playlist can be found <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6QSSjUjbqRHqDkGQgkhUTA?si=x98YXdYfTkm7O8uhYWtlnw">here!</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Three days later, Ahsoka and Anakin were parting ways on the loading deck. Anakin had tried, and failed, to get Ahsoka put on the same assignment as him. The argument this time was that Ahsoka was needed on a cruiser, and the diplomatic mission Anakin had to go on was too high-stakes for a Padawan. When Anakin delivered the news, with a frown on his face, Ahsoka felt frustrated but knew better than to oppose the Council’s decision. And besides, her conversation with Anakin three nights ago eased her worries.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to miss you, Master,” Ahsoka said, shifting in her boots as Anakin’s carrier arrived at the hangar. She was taking her time boarding her own ship, wanting to see Anakin off before she left. And before where she might have felt ashamed for saying she missed Anakin or flat-out repressed the feeling, she owned up to it with confidence. She could sense that Anakin appreciated her honesty with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but It won’t be long until we’re back together again,” Anakin said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder and squeezing it. “I promise, we’ll go on more missions together soon. I’ve already talked to the Council about your concerns, and they’ve been receptive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise we can talk later?” Ahsoka asked eagerly. She hoped Anakin remembered what he said about reaching out to him when she needed it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise,” Anakin said with a smile. Ahsoka couldn’t help smiling back at him. The last few days were nice, really nice, as she and Anakin wandered around Coruscant on a short period of leave. They stayed up late talking about recent missions, visiting various senators and masters, and walking around Coruscant. Anakin even took her up on her offer of a speeder race through the city, which he, of course, won. It was nice to spend time away from the battlefield and war with Anakin, a rare occurrence in the wartorn galaxy. Although the galaxy around them was different than what would have constituted “normal” for a Master and Padawan before the war, the brief moments of familiarity and togetherness made it seem alright.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka heard her name called from behind her, accompanied by an </span>
  <em>
    <span>it’s time to go now, </span>
  </em>
  <span>alerting her that her carrier was about to leave. Her stomach tightened asthe too-familiar pang of sadness went through her chest. Saying goodbye, even if for just a short while, was always hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Ahsoka sighed, adjusting the bag on her shoulder. “Goodbye, Master.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Bye, Snips. And don’t forget,” Anakin said, sending her an encouraging, soothing wave through theForce that made her feel more reassured, “you’re stronger than you think.” The rush of Force and Anakin’s strengthening words balmed the soreness of parting and gave her the confidence she needed. They gave each other a little two-fingered salute before parting, though Ahsoka wished she could have given Anakin a hug instead. She held her head high and walked across the platform with some newfound courage and Anakin’s word that they would reach out later in some manner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Catch you on the flip side, Master!” Ahsoka shouted over her shoulder as the carrier revved up. Across the platform, Anakin was getting into his own carrier, but he paused to wave back at her, making a warmth flow through her chest. This was only a blip, a brief severance; they’d be back together on the front lines soon enough bantering and joking around with each other in a way that was distinctly theirs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the carrier took off and Coruscant grew small, Ahsoka thought back to Christophsis, when they first met each other. It was a happy day, one that she held close to her heart. It sounded cloying and sentimental, but the day really was life-changing for her. She’d met Anakin and Master Kenobi, proved herself on the battlefield, earned her nickname. There were lots of reasons to treasure that day. She wondered if Anakin felt the same way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later that evening after getting settled on the cruiser, Ahsoka retired to her quarters and set to work on meditating for the evening. She wanted to think more about something that weighed on her mind since parting from Anakin that day on the platform. She knelt on the floor, placed her hands on her knees, and closed her eyes. She breathed in and out slowly, allowing herself to tap into the Force and feel one with it. Before long, she was in that familiar trance-like state and summoned up her emotions from the last week.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka allowed the events of the last week to come up, welcoming them into her mind. Her conversation with Obi-Wan, her reunion with Anakin, her subsequent conversation with him, their time spent in Coruscant, their parting today. She felt warmth travel through her whole body, followed by joy and happiness. She smiled at the memories of them going through the city as she chased after him on her speeder and when he taught her a new trick he’d learned with his saber. These last few days she’d heeded Anakin’s advice and treasured the time they spent together because, as she knew, the war threw things into flux; things weren’t going to be normal for a long time, so it was important to value those brief moments of togetherness and passing normalcy when possible. It was much better, Ahsoka concluded, than spending them moping and pretending like nothing was wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She brought forth the anxiety she felt before she talked with Master Kenobi and Anakin, accepting it as part of the process she had to go through to finally express her feelings about being separated from Anakin. It was worth it in the end, she decided, because she was honest. Open. Trusting. And that was what a relationship between a Padawan and a Master should be. Anakin was truly the best master she could ask for; he innately trusted her word and her judgement, and didn't try to deny her feelings or emotions. He was supportive. Though her missing Anakin had been a source of guilt, her expressing it allowed their bond to deepen and her to release her emotions in a healthier way, like Master Kenobi said she should.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka pondered on the thought of their first night back together, when she went to ask Anakin a question only to find out he was asleep. She was still unsure if she should ask him the question; she had wanted to while they were still together, but the timing was never right. It would have been a loaded question, one that Ahsoka knew would turn the night into a longer, more emotional one. She hesitated every time she wanted to ask him, not wanting to ruin the moment or pry too much into his mind if he wasn’t inclined to share. A deeper part of her, though, wanted to know what his answer would be. She put the question at the back of her mind, just in case she felt that the time was right; she didn’t lock that shield too tightly. She wanted it to be easily accessible if need be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a deep breath, Ahsoka let down some of her shields, put others up to keep some of her thoughts private, and focused on finding Anakin’s Force signature. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Be with me, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she murmured under her breath, pouring all of her heart and soul into calling him. She repeated the phrase a few more times, allowing more of the Force to channel through her. She found him, felt his presence in the Force, even though it was lightyears away.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ahsoka?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Anakin?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka smiled, feeling calm and collected in the presence of her Master. He showed her where he was, in his own quarters aboard a cruiser headed for the Saleucami System. She did the same and sent him her mixed feelings of happiness to be back out in the field and of sorrow that they weren’t paired together again. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Be strong, Ahsoka. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I will, Master. I am.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Never forget. I’m here for you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Anakin sent her his feelings of approval and praise that she was doing better than she had when he arrived back in Coruscant. The Force felt like a warm blanket settling around her shoulders, offering comfort. She sent him the memory she was thinking of earlier, of the two of them riding on speeders and laughing as they dodged cars and holoboards with advertisements on them. She felt Anakin’s chuckle through the Force, felt his smile. Anakin responded by letting down some of his shields and showing a memory of them from even longer ago, from one of the first times they were on leave together and they went to a party with Senator Amidala that nearly ended in an altercation with some police droids. Ahsoka snorted at the memory, remembering how fussy C3-P0 was at the whole affair.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m glad I took your advice.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So you enjoyed yourself, then?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I did. It made things feel… </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Normal?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Normal.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Their bond pulsed steadily, beating as if it was a heartbeat. If Ahsoka were to visually describe their bond, she would say it was a blinding blue-green light that was full of their admiration, respect, and support for each other. She showed him her own representation of the bond, something she had never done before; she wished she could have done this in person, but it was the only way she knew how to communicate to Anakin just how much his mentorship, her role as his Padawan, meant to her. She sensed that it touched him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you for showing me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know. I know.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a brief pause where neither said anything, there was just the Force surrounding them in a blissful solitude. It almost felt like there wasn’t a war raging around them in the galaxy, just peace. Ahsoka wished that she confessed to Anakin her insecurities about them being separated and missing him earlier. They could have had this kind of peace, this kind of connection. It would have made her feel a lot better and feel more connected with Anakin. In the back of her mind, the question she wanted to ask him made itself known.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is there something you wanted to ask?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka knew there was no going back. Anakin had sensed it already and it made no use to repress it or else she’d spend forever obsessing over what he’d reply with.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to ask…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you miss me? Ever?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The Force was quiet; their bond pulsed a little slower, but it didn’t halt. She could sense him thinking, feeling, and contemplating what he wanted to say next.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I do miss you, Snips.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka nearly cried. His confession, coupled with the nickname, was unbelievably affirming for her. Just knowing that her Master felt the same way sometimes put her at ease and quelled any last bit of shame she might have felt about missing him. The thought of Anakin dying without her there to protect him or be with him was pushed far out of her mind by now, and she replaced it with one of her hugging him tightly upon their return.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This war… it’s hard. But I’m glad to be going through it with you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Anakin’s words were firm and caring. They were wholly genuine, full of his appreciation and care for her. All of her worries slipped away, and Ahsoka knew she would be able to face the next day, and every day afterwards, with a better outlook. The war felt like less of a burden knowing Anakin was with her in this way.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Me, too, Master. Thank you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Anytime, Ahsoka.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>With a last thought of gratitude, Ahsoka closed her shields and withdrew from the bond. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, leaning back against the bed behind her. She felt content, more content than she’d been in a long time. To be able to have this kind of connection with Anakin was important, and Ahsoka didn’t need telling that she was supposed to treasure moments like this, too. As she got ready for bed, going through the motions sans Anakin, she recalled her meeting with Master Kenobi and how nervous she was about broaching this subject with him. She chuckled at her past self; if only she could see future her right now, feeling content and listened to and more connected with her Master than she had been in a while. It was unconventional, but distinctly them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things were going to be alright, and maybe one day, they’d be normal.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>me, in ya brain: kudos/comment on this fic<br/>you: but why<br/>me, in ya brain: you gotta</p><p>~Hunter</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>me, in ya brain: kudos/comment on this fic<br/>you: but why<br/>me, in ya brain: you gotta</p><p>~Hunter</p></blockquote></div></div>
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